Death Is The Next Greatest Adventure
by Deansfavdemon
Summary: A month after Dean is dragged to hell, she is left with memories and feelings she can't shake. All she can do now is remember, but what happens when memories bring on nightmares? Dean/OC One-Shot brancing off from 'Once On A Full Moon'.


It had been a month since his death. A month since the hell hounds came and ripped his body into ribbons leaving him practically motionless on the floor. A whole month since she hid under Sam's body to escape death from Lilith's white light and wished she had just died. It had been a month since the day she lost the one boy who always reminded her how to smile. A month since she felt alive....a month since she felt like living.

She had been fighting demons with Sam practically since the minute after they buried him. It was a mind numbing experience for both of them and they needed it to keep going. It allowed her to keep from crying and eating loads of ice cream everyday. It was the only thing that kept her out of bed.

Today they were sitting in the car, Sam handing her a sandwich as she grabbed a beer out of the cooler. She continued to buy his favorite kind of beer so she could taste him even now, no matter how much she didn't like it. She just needed the reminder that he was real and this all wasn't some horrible nightmare. She wanted to be close to him, at any cost.

"You wanna crawl in back and take a nap while we head south?" Sam asked her, taking a long drink out of his water bottle. She looked behind her at the bare backseat and stopped herself from jumping over to the seat. The whole car reminded her too much of the last real time she was really with him.

_They were sneaking out of the big hunter's meeting early late one night, laughing and running to the Impala. Sam, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, and a few others were discussing the gate to hell once again and they decided that with only a month left of Dean's life, why were they wasting it there?_

_"Where are we going, exactly?" She asked Dean, his green eyes lighting up even in the dark car as he pulled out of Bobby's driveway. _

_"Anywhere but here, baby," he laughed, turning up the music as they rode down the abandoned highway with no other cars in sight. _

_Being best friends meant that as they went, they both had the urge to sing as loudly as possible along with every rock hit that came on the radio. Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, BOC, song after song they sang and laughed as Dean just continued down the road. _

_Finally they came to a park that they had once hung out in when they were younger. The place was pitch black except for a few random lightposts and the fireflies that were buzzing over the lake. _

_Knowing that she wanted to be closer to Dean, Lex crawled in the back seat and gestured that he should too. After he turned off the car completely except for the radio, he jumped over the seat and laid back there with her. She rested her head on his shoulder, the smell of him intoxicating her. _

_"Do you remember the last time we laid back here?" She asked him, knowing that he probably didn't. It had been so long since that eventful day back in Colorado. _

_"Yeah, I do. I was dying to make-out with you...kind of like I am now," he smirked, kissing the side of her temple while running a hand through her long hair. _

_"So what? You would have attacked me with your face if my dad didn't come along and scare you to death?" She laughed, her fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes on his abdomen. She could feel the tight muscles beneath his shirt, her fingers itching to feel skin. _

_"More than my face. You would have lost your virginity that day," he declared, making her roll her eyes and elbow him in the stomach. She couldn't believe how easily Dean always ruined a moment. _

_"Give it up, Wes will always be the keeper of my cherry." She heard Dean swear under his breath, knowing how much he had hated that particular boyfriend. She hadn't though, she felt really close with Wes. That is, until he slept with about six other girls behind her back. _

_"Come here, Lex," he said quietly, pulling her face up to his and letting his full mouth kiss hers. She loved the feel of his lips, the way he'd suck in her bottom lip and massage it between his. It was enough to make any girl melt. _

_Pushing her backward on the leather seats, he let his hands find themselves down to the bottom of her tank top and pull it over her head. While working on her bra, his lips traced down the side of her neck and stopped for a moment behind her ear. He knew it was her favorite spot and she couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips a few seconds later. He always knew how to drive her crazy. _

_As her hands took off his shirt, she sat up and pushed him backwards to finally do some teasing of her own. Over the time that they had been sleeping together, which hadn't been that long, he always got the upper hand. Not that she minded being as satisfied as he always left her, she just didn't find it fair. _

_Leaning in to nibble on his ear lobe, she let her breasts rub against his bare chest and she could feel his heartbeat quicken. As he groaned and held tightly onto her hips, she licked her way down his chest and down to his abs. She left a butterfly kiss on each of them, his hips twitching under her for more contact. _

_"How's this for making-out?" She asked, blowing on his skin as he said her name deeply under his breath. She giggled at the effect she was having on him, her nimble fingers undoing his belt and throwing it in the front seat. _

_"You're going to kill me here, Lexie. I'm serious...I always take longer on you because I know if you do this to me I'll explode," he panted, her lips planting a kiss right above his jeans zipper as she pulled it down. _

_"Tick, tick, boom," she loved the way his hands clutched at the seats as she pulled his clothing down over his hips and left him completely nude. Now taking advantage of her position, she kissed her way over his thighs, his legs flexing under mouth as he struggled against her. _

_Before she even got the chance to go a little further, Dean had his hands under her armpits and hauled her back into his lap. Her jeans rubbed against him and he growled into her neck while trying to calm himself. She was laughing to herself before he bent forward and sucked a nipple into his mouth without her realizing he was about to do it. _

_The wet saliva made her heated skin tighter and she let out a moan as he attacked her with his mouth. His fingers deftly made their way down to the tops of her pants and made getting them off of her quick. It was awkward for a moment in the small space of his Impala, but soon enough he had her beautiful naked body sprawled on the leather seats of his car and he had to stop for a moment. _

_"God, I can't believe this is happening," he sighed, his hands caressing her sides as he got them in the most comfortable position possible. _

_"What? It's not like we haven't done this before," she panted, her body already shaking under his touch. She couldn't hold back much longer. _

_"No, in here. I can't believe this is happening here. I always wanted you to be the one that christened my baby," he smiled down at her, the sweat dripping down his back and into the dimples above his ass. _

_"If we don't do this fast enough Dean, I'll leave you to finish christining this on your own. A little solo fun," she joked, pulling him down and into her as they both melded into each other. _

_"I'm never going to forget this."_

"No, Sam, I'm okay up here. If I pass out, just let me lean against the window," she told him finally, coming out of her memory. He was looking at her a bit oddly, as if wondering where her mind had just wandered off to.

"You know he'd want you to be happy, Lex. You know I do too...I can't stand seeing you so sad lately," he told her, still not starting the engine in the late summer evening. She could feel a tear roll down her cheek and over her mouth, the salty residue leaving a taste in her mouth that was way too familiar to her now.

"What about you Sam? It's not like I see you being totally upbeat," she came back at him, wiping at her eyes and hoping he didn't see her cry.

"Yeah, but at least I'm sleeping through the night. I can still hear you crying out his name in the room next door every night. I'm worried about you, Lexie," he told her sadly, pulling her over to him and wrapping her in his big arms.

Sam had a smell about him, this sweet smell that always had a way of comforting her when they had grown up. It was almost like the way a parent would smell, that homely comforting scent that would lull you to sleep at night.

"I can't help it...he always comes back in my dreams. Or it's always this happy memory. It's like he won't leave me alone," she told him quietly, as if she said it too loudly he'd hear her and get upset. He was dead though...something she couldn't get used to.

"Why don't you sleep in my room tonight, huh? I hate thinking of you alone in there," he said, completely in the friendly Sam tone. Looking up at him, she nodded her head and they set off for a motel rather than traveling all night again.

As Sam pulled out into the highway, she got settled back in her seat before feeling something poking into her thigh. Pulling out a slightly sticky Snickers wrapper from months ago, she could feel herself choke on emotion again as another memory hit her.

_"Can you believe Ruby? I mean come on...how does Sam not see how horrible she is for him?" Dean moaned late one afternoon, the both of them walking down the pier in a small beach town. _

_"I don't know Dean, but we can't force him to do anything. We both know how hard that is," she sighed deeply, Dean's hand absentmindedly finding hers as they walked on the long stretch of pier. _

_"Yeah, it's like forcing a demon out of its meat sack. I hate our lives sometimes, Jesus Christ," he rubbed his forehead with his free hand before seemingly letting go of his frustration. _

_As they walked in the warm sunlight, Lex couldn't believe that they were even getting this stolen moment. It was such a beautiful day and here she was with her best friend walking hand and hand by the beach. Not only that, but now that they were trying to take their relationship to a steady status, things seemed easier between them. _

_"Hey, I want some ice cream...you want anything?" She asked him, pulling him towards a stand that was pretty vacant for the moment. _

_"Yeah...I'll have a two scoop of your coffee ice cream, in a bowl," Dean told the vendor, pulling out some cash as Lex rolled her eyes. He never let her pay for anything anymore...even if it was with fake money. _

_"Ice cream for your beautiful lady," the man said, his Spanish accent thick as he smiled kindly at them. Lex couldn't help but blush a little before they said thank you and left. Walking down to the ocean side, they took off their shoes and socks before settling into the sand and sticking their feet in the cool water. _

_"You know, my ego is really getting a beating with you around me all the time. No one ever calls me a beautiful lady anymore," he joked, his fake Spanish accent horrible enough to make her snort. _

_"God, I hope not. I don't want to suddenly realize I've been dating a lady the whole time. I don't think me being a lesbian would help anyone right now," she laughed, Dean joining her as he took a big bite of ice cream. _

_"It would be totally hot if you were though, damn."_

_"Yeah, except you'd be my lesbian lover in this equation Dean...you don't get to watch," she rolled her eyes as he genuinely looked crestfallen for a moment. Bumping his shoulder with hers, she accepted the spoonful he held out for her and savored in the taste on her tongue. _

_"Good point. Hey, you want some of this candy bar?" He asked her, pulling the Snickers out of his shirt pocket. Before he could even open it, it already began to ooze in his palm. _

_Laughing at him, she noticed that it had completely melted while they were walking around. He looked sad for a moment before ripping it open and eating the gooey slop anyway. She laughed and ate more ice cream while watching him get his face all messy and covered in chocolate. He reminded her of a little kid. _

_"I'm sure all the dudes will call you a pretty lady now," she joked, looking at his chin and upper lip completely brown and dripping with caramel. _

_"I think it's about time we played some tonsil hockey," he lunged at her quickly, his chocolately face smearing all over her clean one as she laughed. _

_"I hate you so much right now," she tried to calm her breathing as he finally stopped and handed her a napkin. _

_"You know you love me, I can see it in those big blue eyes of yours."_

_She almost said she did, almost let the words slip from her lips. Knowing Dean though, if she spoke her feelings he'd be out of Dodge so fast that she'd never be able to find him again. Biting her tongue, she cleaned off her face and crawled between his legs so they could watch the sun set behind the waves. _

_"My big blue eyes are liars you know, they're always decieving people," she said, feeling him laugh behind her as he wrapped his arms around her. _

_"I already miss you."_

As she changed into her regular pajamas of one of his shirts and a pair sweatpants, she heard Sam getting into his outside the door. She wasn't uncomfortable sleeping with Sam, not in the least, she was just afraid of sleeping at all. None of her amazing memories could keep the nightmares away.

"Should we do this like the old days?" Sam asked her when she came out, comfortably lounging on the bed in his pajama pants.

"I'm pretty sure you resting your head on my shoulder as we watch cartoons might be a tad bit awkward and uncomfortable with you so much more bigger than I am these days," she smiled a little, climbing up next to him and kicking off her penguin slippers.

"You're probably right...just come here," he opened up his arms and she carefully crawled into them and rested her head on his chest. He was warm, his chest radiating off a heat that made her inch even closer.

"I'm losing myself without him Sam," she whispered, closing her eyes as he turned on the TV to help her sleep. She wasn't ever able to doze off without noise, and she was happy he remembered that.

"You can't go Lex, I need you," he told her back, kissing the top of her head as they both silently cried. They were both broken by what had happened, both of them just now really letting their feelings out since his burial.

Leaning up and kissing her friend on the cheek, they got down in the covers and tried to sleep. Before she lulled herself too far though, she brought up Dean's golden trinket necklace and kissed it softly and said to it what she told it every night.

"I love you Dean...please hear me. I love you."


End file.
